What Should I Do Before I Tell My Partner I Want to Separate or Divorce?

The decision to separate or divorce is a significant one. Before informing your partner of your intentions, it’s crucial to take several proactive steps to protect your interests and ensure a smoother transition

Deciding to separate or divorce is a significant and often emotional decision. Before discussing your intentions with your partner, it’s crucial to take certain preparatory steps to protect your rights, your finances, and your emotional well-being.

Build a Support System

Separation or divorce can take an emotional toll on everyone involved, including your children. Prepare by:

• Seeking Counseling: Engage in counseling for yourself and your children to navigate the emotional challenges of separation.
• Ensuring Safety: In cases of domestic violence, arrange for a safe place to stay and secure financial resources for basic necessities.

• Seek Support:

  • Counseling: Consider individual or couples counseling to explore reconciliation options and navigate the emotional complexities of separation.
  • Domestic Violence: If you are experiencing domestic violence, prioritize your safety. Develop a safety plan, seek support from a domestic violence shelter, and ensure you have a safe place to go.

Secure Your Finances:

• Financial Disclosure: Gather essential financial documents:
  • Bank statements for all accounts (chequing, savings, investments)   
  • Property deeds, mortgage statements
  • Investment statements (stocks, bonds, RRSPs, TFSAs)
  • Insurance policies (life, health, property)
  • Tax returns (last 3 years)

• Maintain Financial Status Quo: Avoid depleting joint bank accounts or abusing joint credit cards. Such actions may be considered unconscionable by the court and could have negative consequences.   

Update Legal and Financial Documents:

• Marriage Certificate: Locate and secure your original marriage certificate.
• Change Passwords: Update passwords and PIN numbers for all your financial accounts, social media accounts, and email accounts.
• Estate Planning:
  • Consult with a lawyer to review and update your will.
  • Revise your Power of Attorney if necessary.
• Insurance Beneficiaries: Contact your insurance companies to update beneficiaries on any life insurance policies.

Organize Financial Documents

Financial disclosure is a critical part of separation and divorce proceedings. Gather the following documents to ensure accurate calculations for support and property division:

• Bank account statements (joint and personal accounts).
• Investment portfolios, RSPs, and any inheritances or significant financial gifts.
• Property ownership documents.
• Notices of Assessment for the past three years (available from Canada Revenue Agency)

Maintain Financial Integrity

It’s important to avoid any actions that could be viewed as unethical or manipulative by the courts:

• Avoid Depleting Joint Accounts: Do not withdraw large sums or empty shared accounts.
• Respect Joint Credit Accounts: Avoid misusing credit facilities shared with your partner.
  Courts frown upon such actions and may impose punitive measures.

Secure Important Legal Documents

Ensure you have access to your original marriage certificate, which will be required when filing for a divorce.

Update Personal Information

To protect your privacy and security:

• Change Passwords: Update passwords and PINs for all financial accounts, social media, and email accounts.
• Secure Your Digital Presence: Ensure no unauthorized access to sensitive accounts.

Update Legal and Financial Arrangements

After deciding to separate, some legal and financial arrangements may need to be updated:

• Beneficiaries: Consult a lawyer to review and potentially update the beneficiaries on your will, life insurance policies, and Power of Attorney documents.
• Insurance Policies: Notify insurance companies about any beneficiary changes.

Consult a Family Lawyer

Before initiating the conversation with your spouse, consult with a lawyer to understand your rights and obligations. A legal professional can help:

• Prepare for financial and custody negotiations.
• Advise on protective measures if there are concerns about retaliation or abuse.

Legal Light Consulting is Here to Help

At Legal Light Consulting, LLC, we specialize in guiding individuals through the complexities of separation and divorce. Our experienced lawyers offer personalized advice to help you prepare for every step of the process, ensuring your rights and interests are safeguarded.

Contact us today to take the first step toward a secure and well-prepared separation or divorce

Consult with a Lawyer:

• Legal Guidance: Consulting with an experienced family law lawyer is crucial to understand your rights and obligations, develop a legal strategy, and ensure your interests are protected throughout the separation process.   

Disclaimer: 

This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. The information provided herein may not be applicable to every situation and may change over time. You should consult with an experienced family law attorney to discuss your specific circumstances and obtain legal advice